i'm moving!






to a new website. hahah.

http://zzzeyun.blogspot.com. =D change your links!

5 days. yea. i'm single now. i guess this is the only place that i could express all of my feelings openly. It wasent what i wanted. But it was mostly my fault. If i hadnt exploded. haha. Everything would still be the same.

everything that has happened just makes me think that the whole relationship hasent been there at all. Maybe it's not that way. But this is how it goes when all the things you think about are negative.

these few days that went past, damned slowly, i didnt know how it went. too much to even recall. All the stuff that i was doing, was just for the sake of doing it. Honestly speaking, I did it out of the sake of doing it. I can't feel anything at all. I don't even know if I'm letting go at all. Maybe i'v let go much. Maybe i hadnt at all. I dunno. It just comes and go like some...i dunno. wind? haha. i'm even too tired to smile. I'm thankful to those that peeps that kept my mind occupied. Though it didnt help much, it did helped a little.

Alright. I'm feeling a little cranky today. Really, after all the deadlines and presentations and the I&E event, felt DAMN RELAXED. So. Yea. For the whole day, i just acted like i was crazy. Haha. Not really crazy. Prolly a little loud. I guess that's the word. Yar. Noisy, and bla. Started off with preparing for the event, preparing. Referring(This is the best part), collecting money, doing business with other pple, decreasing our loss and bla. Yea. A little too much to take though. But it was good experience.

So, yea. Thanx to all of my group mates of I&E out there. And the participants and bla.

But, think these few weeks, losing touch with stuff already. Many many things. Prolly it's just that i haven switch back to school mode. Results was lousy. I could have done better. But, well, this is always what i say. Say no action~ what i'm best at.

Yea. I just hope i won't think too much. Look at stuff in the optimistic way, be confident, be happy, think less, make my life simple, focus on my studies, get a license. Yea. HAH

ok. i'm here to say sorry to my team mates out thr. Especially those who were in my grp for the NUS friendly. EH. Think i suck big time. Yea. I didnt take the game seriously. That's why, the cause of so many dumb and unforgivable mistakes. Seriously, i don't understand why. But, yea. No more next time. So, no more fooling around. =D

eh. these few days stress eh. just had 2 tests. think i gonna flunk both. jia lat. next week's common test. starting to study like crazy already. lol.

eh. preparation wise. still on the track la. just hoping that i can understand those stupid modules more and score and score and score. but, come to think of it. no matter how much effort i put in my studies, my dad is never satisfied. dunno what he wants. everyday also chinese story book. yea. i know he meant well. but, come on. i'v got to have interest and time in it before i can seriously read without him even asking. i'm trying. argh. but he just dosent understand. blarh. i just hope one day i'll really find interest in studying chinese or i can just pray that he will let me off one fine day.

so. yar. training today. disastrous. no strength, no nothing. dunno how sia. sometimes, i get all worked up when we'r not playing well. then i'll say here, say there, hope u guys aint offended yar. tired mah. so, the stuffs i say tend to process through my mouth before going through my brain. lol. yea. what to do. gym more lor. gonna get big arms again.

and. yea. these few days. did much thinking. dunno what to expect out of myself. everything just cave in suddenly. studies and whatever shit. think i'm just some 18 yr old with a childish mind. no aim, no preserverence, no determination. only know how to daydream. that's what i'm best at. stoning. 2 years after secondary school life. changed quite alot. but attitude still remains the same when it comes to study. HAI. every day only know how to say, but no action. only know how to envy people carrying branded shopping bags, people owning big cars, people eating good food. blah. still young to think bout all these? not really. our future starts building now. aint it true? quite true yea. hahah. i could be quite wise at times yea. lol.

yar. i'm tired. tired of being a sensitive freak. tired of being a retard when it's really time to crack my brain. tired of myself.

haha. my blog's screwed up. and i don't give a damn. lOL. guess i'll just let it be until i'm free enough to do some editing. hahA. alright. it's really been quite some time. Exams are here to come~ time kinda past quite quickly. Oh Well, please bring me into the study mode. Seriously, there's really alot for me to pick up. Lagged alot this sem. My ad-math's in a total mess. then thr's tutorials, assignments, failing tests and blah. AND, exams' are just in less than a week's time!

much to catch up. Polo's been ok. not much of a stuff. Cracking boats, tearing spray decks. Seriously, thr's never been once all our equipments would last for a good long period. When one thing gets repaired, the other starts to wear. oh well oh well. guess it's time to win some medals back gain some acknowledgement from the school.

Talking bout polo. Our training is really getting kinda slacked. It's nothing compared to what we have gone through during our year one days. haha. it was really memorable. Gym and pool. Yes, i admit i wouldnt want tough trainings too. But, would this affect our performance? Through past competitions, our experience is really limited. Our skills, i wouldnt say it's that bad. But is it good enough to win others? How do we really measure good enough? *shrugs* guess we would just have to take one step at a time.

SRRR is like 2-3 months away. We'v still got a handful of time to prove ourselves in the next competition. Hope we really do it this time. If not, all of us would be disappointed again. It's not what i want, not anyone. It's really a pity i didnt get to play with the monsters during IVP 06. Shouldnt have let things gone the way it should be. Wasent strong enough to hold my stand. But, yea. It's over. Gotta look forward than back. At least a gained experience in return. LOL. So much so, have i really applied and learn and apply them for the better? i dunno. there's no one to tell me. and i can't really judge it myself. BUT, i could say that some of my team mates improved~ lol. in shooting. yea. so, apply it in the games if not, no use also. haha.

SO, yea. all the best for common tests!

School reopening is not like what i'v thought. Slacked for the whole of this week. Seems like the holiday mood hasent very much gone off.

Everything that has happened was quite unexpected. Prolly i didnt much understand the situation. Thus it led to smthing much worse. haha. but it was resolved quickly. well, guess i'm the one to blame. Never occured to me that we would actually quarrel. and actually quarrel when we'r still considered to be in the honeymoon period.

Still, i hope that thr's many more months to come. haha. friends turned couple. thr's no gurantee that it will last. we'll see how it goes~ Sometimes, i just can't figure out how we could actually end up together. thinking back, my first impression of him wasent quite pleasant. but, yea. it's all about now, not about then.

Alright. i'm finally back again to update. yea. after nat champs, went to redang with the unexpected pple.lOL. alright. whatever. that's so long long ago. Was it a good thing i went? yea. prolly. haha. oh well, i had fun. it was a trip that we kids have to handle everything all by ourselves. It really was a new kind of expereince. so. uh huh.

Then, found a new waitressing job at fosters. Pay's lower than mandrin. But it's fun working thr~ yea. new people, new environment. not that i'm sick of looking at the same old pple. =X. but, a change is always good.

Results are back. Didnt do well again. SIGH. when will i start to chiong for my studies huh. but it's been so busy. competition and all. lets hope i have time.

And....yea. i found him.

it's been a long long time. FINAlly, Pesta Sukan 2006 is over. There are no words to describe how relived i am. Went through lotsa stuff.....Quite an experience. Yea. It's an opportunity to get a wider scope of how things works and how we work towards what we are aiming for.

This year, particiapted in both opens and ivp. Got a bronze for ivp, and a gold for sixers. 2 medals...quite an achivement huh. Almost throughout the whole season, what works in my brain is just polo and polo and polo. Nothing else. The feelings before and after matches always dwell in my head. Esp those that we lost. It kinda affected me quite alot whenever we lost...haha. really, it is something that i'v never felt before.

Got to thank those that has been through all these with me.
The ivp team. Thanx alot for helping me to get through all this 'shit'. Hhaa. It was really enjoyable to play with you people. Alumnis, Seniors and dearest jiun. Will continue to train hard with my keeping and shooting. HAHA. I'm really bad at them. The SP matches.....I really wanna apologise with all the lousy keeping. But until the last one, at least i had kept out all of their shots. At least I'm not as guilty. =p. Was really hoping at the last match i could do something useful. And, i finally finally did. 3-0. I kept out all of their shots. =).
Sixers. I really can't describe how i feel now. In the start, i really feel out of place coz i'm nowhere here nor there. But, after time passes, i'v felt more at ease playing with you people. Gracie, Syaz, Juju, Eliza, Rudith, Weining. HAHA. the combination's really kinda weird. But i'v got to really thank these people. Always supporting me. Though thr's one that raped my goal with her long shots and one who gave me a green card and lotsa scoldings from all around. Lol. Really......i can't believe i pulled through. Was really glad we got a gold. I was really grinning from ear to ear when we won TP BUAYI by the score of 3-1.

Yep. Time to take a break. I'm going Redang. haha. I can't believe i'm going man. Seriously, i have people objecting. But...yar. i'm gonna be alright. hahah. I hope i'll have fun~ And lastly, I LOVE ALL OF MY TEAM MATES, whether it's Monsters(especially), Ivp or Sixers. It's time to get prepared for the next season. WOOSHH~!

life's been hectic. Very much especially when exams and projects and competition comes altogether. The past few week has been a blur. Most of our boats are finally back. They look tattered and torn with so much tapes all over them. And all the bracs finally arrived. thank goodness we have it before nat. champs. Haha. One thing good is everyone will paddle doubly faster with the lighter paddle. ALL THE WAY~

But, really, it's been quite some time that we had our usual kind of training. That caused a steep drop in stamina and skills. that's for me. Yea. Imagine you have to work extra hard to reach your peak in time for nat. champs.....it's quite challenging.

seriously, i'm just not in the right mood for anything. esp projects. i even dread talking about it. so i shall just stop. the whole sem, i just played my way through. I aint gonna get a high GPA if this kinda attitude continues. Its a little to late to realise huh. Majors are coming. i'm so dead.

BUT, after exams means HOLS! though competition's gonaa be straight after that, i believe there will be time for us to chill and club and shop and tan and pigg and whatever. Lotsa time to spend!

And, i'v really been spending quite alot. really have no idea how to save money and use it wisely. just this week, i'v spent more than 200bucks. tsk tsk. helmets, kevlar. polo's a big investment. Clothes also. no choice. that is something i/everyone can't live without. My temper's getting outta controlled man. I just lost my cool just recently. haha. pity the person that was 'scolded' by me. but, too bad.

The project nuts was a killer. Some of us girls really just couldnt take it. i almost died. My eyes were all fuzzy and for the first time, my legs really felt jell-o. Couldnt even get up. HMM. what an experience. still can't beat the db people. but we put up a good fight. =D